Now that it's February, especially here in the north east area, we can use some spicing up. I find I can start feeling bored or tired staying indoors most of the time. It's a great time to make some changes to freshen things up.
I love change! I don't need to move far away, sell my house, or make major life or relationship changes to freshen things up. Sometimes it can be small changes. For instance, I like rearranging furniture in a room. As kids, my sister and I would either change around our rooms or swap rooms for something new. It was so much fun and the next few weeks, we would love to hang out in our rooms. Even when I was 9 months pregnant, I remember sliding furniture around in the living room in the middle of the night because I couldn't sleep.
As you can see, I just changed how my blogsite looks. It needed a little freshening. We can always change things back if we don't like it. I also played around with my website look. I can get tired of things easily.
I like change so much, I have had to start painting rooms in my house a neutral color and using color in the pillows, curtains, and other accessories because my husband was tired of me repainting rooms. I also have a neutral color house and shutters. I just change the color of the front door on occasion. It has already been 3 different colors in the last 10 years. And I'm ready to change it again. I also plant different color flowers each spring in the front yard to freshen things up. I've also painted my office a neutral color of a silvery-grey and have deep red accents. Those accents may change as spring comes along.
Sometimes I like to change up my hair, makeup, clothes, etc. I also like to go get my car washed and get a new car freshener. These may all be small changes, but I feel refreshed and happier when I do them.
Happiness is one of the most important things we can do for our health. So if these little changes can make me happy, then great; it doesn't cost much or take much effort.
Action
Do something to spice things up. It doesn't take much, but you may find you get a little hooked and want to make more changes. It gets addicting. Have fun!
Sunday, February 9, 2014
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
In with the New Year!
Happy New Year!
Doesn't it make you feel hopeful for something fresh and new? That's what's great about the new year.
This is the time to close out the old and make space for the new. First we need to wrap up the old year. We can keep all the good memories, successes, and lessons learned from the old. We can recap on good feelings, good relationships, and good change we saw in ourselves and the world around us.
Next, we can and need to let go of the negative stuff. It will weigh us down mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Forget the disappointments, the failures, the losses, and the traumas. I know that sounds hard to do, but we will carry it in our bodies if we don't.
You may have lost someone close to you. Allow yourself to grieve and then move on knowing that they are in a much better place free from the worries, sadness, and hurts of life. Their spirits are freely floating around and they are watching over us. Some people may not believe that, but I have seen time and time again how clients of mine have felt their loved one's presence and signs of them around. Remember the good things about them and let go of the sadness. They would want you to. They want to see you happy. They share that happiness with you. They don't want you to be sad.
We also need to forgive others, for our sake. We carry them around energetically with us if we don't. It's okay to be mad for awhile, but then you have to let them go for your health. Forgiving them doesn't mean you have to stay in relationship with them. Either distance yourself in some way, move on or vow to not allow them to walk all over you. Teach them to treat you differently.
The great thing about a new year is that we can release whatever happened this past year and leave it in the past. Once we release the past and close out 2013, we can then move on to 2014.
How do you want next year to turn out? What do you hope for? What kind of person do you want to be? What do you want to experience?
Before you start writing a list of things to do for a new year's resolution, start with a vision. Have the picture in mind. How do you want to see yourself? How do you want to see your life? Keep it broad. What feelings do you want to feel? Do you want to be happy? Do you want to see yourself getting up every morning happy and ready for the day hopeful that it will be great? Do you want to see yourself smiling and laid back enjoying life? Start with the snapshot.
Then make the vision more specific in what you see around you. Do you envision a new location, a new career, a new relationship? Maybe you already have this and you just envision it being better. Maybe there is a bigger plan in mind and you see it starting to take shape this year. Change can take time. As long as you are moving forward in ways you want, don't worry how long it takes. I think life is a journey and that there is a bigger plan for our lives. We just need to stay in tune with it.
Once you have a better focus on what you want, break it down into small, manageable pieces. Don't start with a scary to-do list that requires lots of motivation, which of course dies out quickly. Think about what you can do this week to work toward your vision. Then each day, wake up and assess what can be done today.
Action
Recap:
1. Close out 2013. What was good? What do you want to let go of?
2. Form a broad vision of you and life in 2014.
3. Funnel it down into a more focused vision.
4. Organize it into weekly goals.
5. Each day, meditate on what you can do today.
Doesn't it make you feel hopeful for something fresh and new? That's what's great about the new year.
This is the time to close out the old and make space for the new. First we need to wrap up the old year. We can keep all the good memories, successes, and lessons learned from the old. We can recap on good feelings, good relationships, and good change we saw in ourselves and the world around us.
Next, we can and need to let go of the negative stuff. It will weigh us down mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Forget the disappointments, the failures, the losses, and the traumas. I know that sounds hard to do, but we will carry it in our bodies if we don't.
You may have lost someone close to you. Allow yourself to grieve and then move on knowing that they are in a much better place free from the worries, sadness, and hurts of life. Their spirits are freely floating around and they are watching over us. Some people may not believe that, but I have seen time and time again how clients of mine have felt their loved one's presence and signs of them around. Remember the good things about them and let go of the sadness. They would want you to. They want to see you happy. They share that happiness with you. They don't want you to be sad.
We also need to forgive others, for our sake. We carry them around energetically with us if we don't. It's okay to be mad for awhile, but then you have to let them go for your health. Forgiving them doesn't mean you have to stay in relationship with them. Either distance yourself in some way, move on or vow to not allow them to walk all over you. Teach them to treat you differently.
The great thing about a new year is that we can release whatever happened this past year and leave it in the past. Once we release the past and close out 2013, we can then move on to 2014.
How do you want next year to turn out? What do you hope for? What kind of person do you want to be? What do you want to experience?
Before you start writing a list of things to do for a new year's resolution, start with a vision. Have the picture in mind. How do you want to see yourself? How do you want to see your life? Keep it broad. What feelings do you want to feel? Do you want to be happy? Do you want to see yourself getting up every morning happy and ready for the day hopeful that it will be great? Do you want to see yourself smiling and laid back enjoying life? Start with the snapshot.
Then make the vision more specific in what you see around you. Do you envision a new location, a new career, a new relationship? Maybe you already have this and you just envision it being better. Maybe there is a bigger plan in mind and you see it starting to take shape this year. Change can take time. As long as you are moving forward in ways you want, don't worry how long it takes. I think life is a journey and that there is a bigger plan for our lives. We just need to stay in tune with it.
Once you have a better focus on what you want, break it down into small, manageable pieces. Don't start with a scary to-do list that requires lots of motivation, which of course dies out quickly. Think about what you can do this week to work toward your vision. Then each day, wake up and assess what can be done today.
Action
Recap:
1. Close out 2013. What was good? What do you want to let go of?
2. Form a broad vision of you and life in 2014.
3. Funnel it down into a more focused vision.
4. Organize it into weekly goals.
5. Each day, meditate on what you can do today.
Wednesday, December 4, 2013
Savor Your Victories
This week's blog is a guest blog. Let me know what you think.
"You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it."
- Margaret Thatcher
Former British Prime Minister
No doubt life can, at times, make us question everything and everyone. There are days when crawling back under the covers seems the only logical course of action. There are those times when we do our very best to be our very best, yet we fall short. In such circumstances, we very often choose to blame and reproach ourselves for just not being good enough, or smart enough, or elegant, or wise, or quick, or strong, or competent. We mistakenly internalize all that goes wrong and assume complete responsibility for it. We chastise ourselves for not being able to do simple things such as...oh I don't know...say, divine the future, or predict another person's reactions or actions. We then use precious energy to ruminate over what could, should, or would have been done if we hadn't been so incompetent. We expect perfection from ourselves, but fail to honor even good faith efforts.
We forget that our own actions are the only ones we can control. We forget that life is not lived in a vacuum. We forget to extend the kindness we show others to ourselves. We forget that our challenges may persist so that we might step-up our game; so that we can learn and grow. We may find ourselves engaged in a 'battle' that finds us completely ill-equipped to win; some situation or circumstance that is totally new to us. Sometimes we choose to venture into new territory, sometimes we are thrust into it. Either way, we must remember that every bit of strength or cleverness required resides within us already. It just needs to be summoned.
Maybe we can handle things brilliantly the first time around. But maybe not. The only thing that will truly defeat us is if we lose faith in ourselves. When fear and self-doubt start creeping in, we start to slide just as surely as if we were on a muddy mountainside. We grasp and panic and struggle...and lose hope and motivation. Our only defense is the simple realization that perfection is an illusion, it is tenacity and courage that win the day.
Today's action: Take a minute to think not of things you wish you'd done differently, or handled "better," but of 3 examples of times when you persevered and overcame whatever it was that needed fixing or managing. Try to ruminate over a few victories rather than defeats.
Give yourself a pat on the back, literally (yes, it can be done, I do it all the time), for things you've accomplished, be they seemingly tiny things that no one else might know, or great big public achievements. Savor those moments. And know that you are far more than the sum of your parts.
Susan Dowgiala
"You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it."
- Margaret Thatcher
Former British Prime Minister
No doubt life can, at times, make us question everything and everyone. There are days when crawling back under the covers seems the only logical course of action. There are those times when we do our very best to be our very best, yet we fall short. In such circumstances, we very often choose to blame and reproach ourselves for just not being good enough, or smart enough, or elegant, or wise, or quick, or strong, or competent. We mistakenly internalize all that goes wrong and assume complete responsibility for it. We chastise ourselves for not being able to do simple things such as...oh I don't know...say, divine the future, or predict another person's reactions or actions. We then use precious energy to ruminate over what could, should, or would have been done if we hadn't been so incompetent. We expect perfection from ourselves, but fail to honor even good faith efforts.
We forget that our own actions are the only ones we can control. We forget that life is not lived in a vacuum. We forget to extend the kindness we show others to ourselves. We forget that our challenges may persist so that we might step-up our game; so that we can learn and grow. We may find ourselves engaged in a 'battle' that finds us completely ill-equipped to win; some situation or circumstance that is totally new to us. Sometimes we choose to venture into new territory, sometimes we are thrust into it. Either way, we must remember that every bit of strength or cleverness required resides within us already. It just needs to be summoned.
Maybe we can handle things brilliantly the first time around. But maybe not. The only thing that will truly defeat us is if we lose faith in ourselves. When fear and self-doubt start creeping in, we start to slide just as surely as if we were on a muddy mountainside. We grasp and panic and struggle...and lose hope and motivation. Our only defense is the simple realization that perfection is an illusion, it is tenacity and courage that win the day.
Today's action: Take a minute to think not of things you wish you'd done differently, or handled "better," but of 3 examples of times when you persevered and overcame whatever it was that needed fixing or managing. Try to ruminate over a few victories rather than defeats.
Give yourself a pat on the back, literally (yes, it can be done, I do it all the time), for things you've accomplished, be they seemingly tiny things that no one else might know, or great big public achievements. Savor those moments. And know that you are far more than the sum of your parts.
Susan Dowgiala
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
Being The True You
Being the true you is really the only way to be healthy and happy.
We know this to be true, don't we? If we can be ourselves at home, it is the best place to be. We re-energize ourselves at home when we can just "be." But if we feel criticized or guarded around our family or others we live with, we don't feel comfortable or happy in our homes. Isn't this true?
Being the true you means just being you despite what others think, say, or expect of you. How they respond reflects on them. It is their issue, not yours. Of course it's not okay to be rude to them; but I think we care too much about what others think about us and our choices. It's our job to be ourselves and allow others to be the same. It is not okay for either party to take all the power in the relationship. It should be 50/50. Don't allow others to manipulate you or control you in a relationship. As children, we didn't have a choice about who was in control, but as adults we do.
It is our job and our right to decide who we want to be. Come up with your own ideas, rather than what you think others will like, even society. Who are you? What do you truly enjoy? Many people think "society" knows what's best. be it where we should live, what kind of house we should live in, what kind of counter tops we should have, etc. We think society knows what beauty is, what a good career is, what activities we should be doing. How is that even possible if everyone is unique? We all have different needs and wants. We are individuals.
When we are not our true selves, it causes tension in our bodies. We become afraid that we won't measure up to others. How can we remain relaxed in our bodies when our thoughts are filled with fear? When we are true, we relax into ourselves.
Action
You may at first feel nervous when trying to be the true you. Will others like you? Will they be mad at you for not being who they want you to be? Even if they are mad, they will get over it. They may like you even better because you'll be more relaxed and happy.
Sometimes I hear a person who has been married a long time say, "my spouse is not the same person I fell in love with." It is possible that they were their true self at first and then became the person they thought was expected of them in being married and being a parent. Sometimes the person changes in response to our trying to change them to be more like what we want. It's not their true self, nor is it fair to ask them to change. You may be happier to let them be their true self again.
Give yourself permission to be yourself and give others the same permission. Life will be so much more fun!
We know this to be true, don't we? If we can be ourselves at home, it is the best place to be. We re-energize ourselves at home when we can just "be." But if we feel criticized or guarded around our family or others we live with, we don't feel comfortable or happy in our homes. Isn't this true?
Being the true you means just being you despite what others think, say, or expect of you. How they respond reflects on them. It is their issue, not yours. Of course it's not okay to be rude to them; but I think we care too much about what others think about us and our choices. It's our job to be ourselves and allow others to be the same. It is not okay for either party to take all the power in the relationship. It should be 50/50. Don't allow others to manipulate you or control you in a relationship. As children, we didn't have a choice about who was in control, but as adults we do.
It is our job and our right to decide who we want to be. Come up with your own ideas, rather than what you think others will like, even society. Who are you? What do you truly enjoy? Many people think "society" knows what's best. be it where we should live, what kind of house we should live in, what kind of counter tops we should have, etc. We think society knows what beauty is, what a good career is, what activities we should be doing. How is that even possible if everyone is unique? We all have different needs and wants. We are individuals.
When we are not our true selves, it causes tension in our bodies. We become afraid that we won't measure up to others. How can we remain relaxed in our bodies when our thoughts are filled with fear? When we are true, we relax into ourselves.
Action
You may at first feel nervous when trying to be the true you. Will others like you? Will they be mad at you for not being who they want you to be? Even if they are mad, they will get over it. They may like you even better because you'll be more relaxed and happy.
Sometimes I hear a person who has been married a long time say, "my spouse is not the same person I fell in love with." It is possible that they were their true self at first and then became the person they thought was expected of them in being married and being a parent. Sometimes the person changes in response to our trying to change them to be more like what we want. It's not their true self, nor is it fair to ask them to change. You may be happier to let them be their true self again.
Give yourself permission to be yourself and give others the same permission. Life will be so much more fun!
Thursday, October 24, 2013
Work the energy out
In order to stay healthy, we need to release the things that bother us. Saying it out loud is one way, another is through movement. We can physically work it out of us. We can dance it out, punch it out, kick it out, wiggle it out, anything at all; so long as we do it with the intention to move it out of us.
But to really get it out, we need to fully connect with where it is held in our body. If you are angry, truly feel the anger and notice what tightens up inside you. Do you feel it in your stomach? Do you feel it in your chest? Does your whole back tighten up? Or your neck or jaw? Do you get a headache? Where do you feel it?
How strong is the feeling? Are you just a little upset? Are you furious? However you feel, match the intensity. It's fine to feel annoyed and it's fine to feel crazed. Don't judge your feelings; simply feel them. Make sure no one is around to feel your wrath.
Do you feel sad? Hopeless? Defeated? Frustrated? Confused? Betrayed? It's all okay. It's what you feel.
Action
So go ahead. Punch a pillow. Shake a pillow. Beat your hands on the ground. Kick a kick bag or do push-ups. Punch a heavy bag or something made for that purpose. Put music on and dance around. Run around the house. Do whatever feels right to you. Connect to where you feel it and breathe it out of you.
Other feelings may surface as you do this. Or you may feel the same emotion, but about something different. Let all of it come up. When it feels like the feelings are gone, take a deep breath. You may feel tired or rung out, but you will feel better.
Now continue to dance around or punch it out with the intention to re-energize yourself. Get the energy inside you moving. You'll feel the endorphin levels increase, or the "runner's high" kick in. Feel yourself moving the good, positive energy through you. When you start to feel good again, you'll know you're done for now. Go enjoy something!
But to really get it out, we need to fully connect with where it is held in our body. If you are angry, truly feel the anger and notice what tightens up inside you. Do you feel it in your stomach? Do you feel it in your chest? Does your whole back tighten up? Or your neck or jaw? Do you get a headache? Where do you feel it?
How strong is the feeling? Are you just a little upset? Are you furious? However you feel, match the intensity. It's fine to feel annoyed and it's fine to feel crazed. Don't judge your feelings; simply feel them. Make sure no one is around to feel your wrath.
Do you feel sad? Hopeless? Defeated? Frustrated? Confused? Betrayed? It's all okay. It's what you feel.
Action
So go ahead. Punch a pillow. Shake a pillow. Beat your hands on the ground. Kick a kick bag or do push-ups. Punch a heavy bag or something made for that purpose. Put music on and dance around. Run around the house. Do whatever feels right to you. Connect to where you feel it and breathe it out of you.
Other feelings may surface as you do this. Or you may feel the same emotion, but about something different. Let all of it come up. When it feels like the feelings are gone, take a deep breath. You may feel tired or rung out, but you will feel better.
Now continue to dance around or punch it out with the intention to re-energize yourself. Get the energy inside you moving. You'll feel the endorphin levels increase, or the "runner's high" kick in. Feel yourself moving the good, positive energy through you. When you start to feel good again, you'll know you're done for now. Go enjoy something!
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