Reaching Out to People

We were never created to exist alone.  Just like they say "no man is an island."  We were made to need others in different ways.  We can be independent, but still need others' services or companionship.

We can live alone. We can work alone. We can travel alone. We can do lots of things alone, but we were made to connect with others in some way.  Computers and other technological devices have helped us in many ways.  They have made many things easier and more efficient. But they have the potential to isolate us as well.

I look at my kids, who are teenagers now. They don't have friends over or go out as much as they used to.  They text, video chat, instagram, facebook, etc their friends. Many people sit home and watch the news all day getting depressed about all the negative stuff going on in the world. People order things online or go to large chain stores and restaurants. What happened to going to small mom and pop stores and diners? What happened to kids playing in the neighborhood?

If you are feeling depressed, unmotivated, or lonely, are you isolating yourself in some way?  Do you go out? Do you talk to people? Do you get involved?  Reach out to others! It helps to connect to others.  It's energizing to our bodies, minds, and spirits when we connect.

Action

Reach out! Go out to a restaurant and sit at the bar/counter.  Go out with friends. Eat dinner with your family, even if it's in front of the TV. And reach out to others who may be alone. You'll feel your energy increase.  Find ways to connect with others. Connect with your spouse.  Connect with your kids.  Connect with your parents and siblings and friends.  Many of us seem to be missing that in this society.  Connect!

Being Grateful for 5 Things Today Energizes You

Being grateful energizes you. As you focus on something positive, you release tension in your body which converts to releasing energy in your system.  As you release energy, you utilize it better, feeling energized.

But to really be energized by this, you need to feel it, not just say or think it.  You need to feel the gratitude.  For instance, if you are grateful for your husband (or wife), why?  What is it you are grateful for regarding him. Is he reliable, punctual, caring, generous, or strong?  Is he always there for you?  If you lack gratitude for this person in some ways, think and feel all the ways you do or used to.  As you do, your feelings will increase and energize your body even more.

Think about 5 things in your life you are grateful for.  It can be anything.  I love to feel how grateful I am for the summer and the beach.  I picture myself there with the waves, the breeze, the warm sun on my skin, and I'm reading a good book.  I can visualize it so easily.  When I do that, I can feel how relaxing it is.  I can feel how my stress over other things just melts away. And when I feel grateful for all the times I've spent at the beach and for summer in general, I feel lighter and energized afterwards.

So thinking of and feeling gratitude for 5 things really charges you in a good way.

Action

Think of 5 things to be grateful for today.  Spend a few minutes feeling it.  It is really healthy for your body, like a mini-spa treatment for yourself.  There are so many things to be thankful for: being alive, being pain-free, being surrounded by people who love you, having a roof over your head, having a reliable car or a job.  You are blessed if you have kids, parents, or a spouse who are healthy.  Think of experiences you've been fortunate to have.  Getting through tough times is definitely worth being thankful for.

You'll feel lighter and happier realizing how much you have to be grateful for.  Enjoy!

Releasing Things from the Past

Our bodies hold onto a lot of things from our past.  If you can vividly recall something that happened in the past or can feel the feelings you felt back then or your heart starts to race just thinking about something, you may be holding it in your body.

Memories can hold in your mind, your body, and your spirit.  Psychological counseling can definitely help, but sometimes you can heal the mind and the memories can still be holding in the tissues in the body.  That's where my work comes in.  I help release the memories in the tissues.  They can actually store anywhere, including in the fascia( the soft tissue that surrounds everything), the bones, the muscles, and the organs.  I have had many people say, "I have already worked on this in therapy. I don't feel like it's an issue anymore."  And I get that and I can see they have released it in their mind.  But when I hold an area of tension and they allow themselves to think about what they think they have released, I can then feel them connect to it.  They then start to feel the feelings and sometimes start to cry or release in someway.  Their breathing may change, they may tense up in some muscles, they recall specific details, etc.

Once they release it from the body, they feel more relaxed and feel like it is more thoroughly released.  We hold onto a lot, not everything, but a lot.  Things that hold can be from anytime in your lifetime as well as from past lives.  We can hold memories of our childhood, car accidents, receiving bad news that stunned us, divorce stress, marital stress, the rushing around that comes with raising children, the sadness of getting older or weaker, stress of school, bullying, etc.

Action

Take a few minutes to recall some things that have happened in your past, even things that you think you have let go of or forgiven.  Do any memories start to stir something up inside?  Allow yourself to think about it and feel the feelings, the shock, the tension, the rushing, the confusion, anything is okay to feel.  Keep thinking and feeling until you feel it's gone.  Let it float away like a cloud.  You can then go about doing something else or think of another memory that may be held inside.  The more we can release, the lighter and happier we will feel.  As you release the past, it is easier to remain in the present and enjoy what's going on now. We weren't meant to carry our past with us.  Release and enjoy!

September is a good month for cleaning out things

Here in the US, September is a time when people are getting back to routine after the summer.  It's a great time to clean things out, shed things, and make room for new things.  This can include your body, your home, your office, your life, and your mind.

Cleaning out, whether inside or outside our bodies, lightens our energy levels and reduces the tension in our bodies.  All things are made of energy, so as you clear out clutter in your space and life, you release old energy that is no longer adding to your life in a positive way.  Even things that brought you pleasure in the past can be weighing you down now.  When you give away, sell, or throw away stuff you no longer use or need, you will feel lighter.  If you can recirculate or recycle where someone else can use it, you'll feel even better than just throwing it away.  But either way, release it from your space.

Where do you start?  Well, first sit down and make a list of the things you want to clean out.  Add all aspects of your life, body, and space.  What needs cleaning out? How do you want to feel?  What is the outcome you'd like to see.  How do you want your space to feel?  What do you want your surroundings to look like?  Who do you want around? What kind of experiences do you want? How do you want your body to feel and look?

Once you know the outcome you are looking for, look at your stuff, your life, your relationships.  What doesn't fit anymore?  Look at your schedule.  What's it look like?  Is it too busy?  What seems to weigh you down just thinking about it.

Once you know the outcomes you are looking for and what doesn't fit, prioritize the areas.  What changes are manageable? What is practical in your life right now to do? What would make the most impact?  What feels right?  Does cleaning out one area at a time feel better or making small changes in a few areas feel better?

One of the best pieces of advice that I can give is : do what feels good to you.  Everyone has theories on what's best, but listening to your gut supersedes it all.

Action  

So clean out this month.  Start small or start big.  What needs cleaning out?  Once you start, you'll feel energized and happier.  You'll feel so good, you'll want to continue.  Letting things go lightens you and frees you up for new things in your life, (hopefully new experiences rather than more material stuff). It gets easier as you go along and you'll end up with a lighter space, body, and life.

Getting back to routine and cleaning out the extras can feel really good. Enjoy!

The best thing you can do for your kids

The best thing you can do for your kids is to accept them for who they are.  Not only accept, but love and celebrate them as they are, not for who you want them to be.  Don't criticize them for their dreams or for their imperfections.  And to teach them to accept, love, and celebrate themselves and others as they are, imperfections and all.

Children who are criticized constantly, who think they are not good enough, or cannot gain their parents approval grow up to be hard on themselves and others.  They grow up thinking "I'm not good enough", "I have to be perfect", " I have to try harder to better myself in every way".  They never have enough. They look outside themselves for happiness because they don't have it inside. Or they look for approval from others.

Now I'm not saying to go to the extreme and faughn over your kids and act as if everything they do is great.  There needs to be a balance. There needs to be accountability. There need to be boundaries and limits.  Kids need to know where the limits are and have some structure in their life. But give them feedback on how to improve and know when good enough is.  They need to know everyone including themselves and their parents are not perfect.  We will all make mistakes.  Learn from them and move on. And that's what makes life interesting.

It's sad to see when a client of mine is on the treatment table wondering what was wrong with them, what terrible thing did they do to not be praised and approved of by their parents.  That's not even mentioning abuse or neglect that many kids have experienced. Hopefully this generation of kids has learned better.

Action

Love, love, love your kids or the kids in your life and let them know they are great just the way they are, faults and all.  Kids especially are going to make mistakes and not always behave how adults want them to, it's part of being a kid. Even adults make mistakes. Why would we ever fault for kids for it. Love and enjoy!