This week's blog is a guest blog. Let me know what you think.
"You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it."
- Margaret Thatcher
Former British Prime Minister
No doubt life can, at times, make us question everything and everyone. There are days when crawling back under the covers seems the only logical course of action. There are those times when we do our very best to be our very best, yet we fall short. In such circumstances, we very often choose to blame and reproach ourselves for just not being good enough, or smart enough, or elegant, or wise, or quick, or strong, or competent. We mistakenly internalize all that goes wrong and assume complete responsibility for it. We chastise ourselves for not being able to do simple things such as...oh I don't know...say, divine the future, or predict another person's reactions or actions. We then use precious energy to ruminate over what could, should, or would have been done if we hadn't been so incompetent. We expect perfection from ourselves, but fail to honor even good faith efforts.
We forget that our own actions are the only ones we can control. We forget that life is not lived in a vacuum. We forget to extend the kindness we show others to ourselves. We forget that our challenges may persist so that we might step-up our game; so that we can learn and grow. We may find ourselves engaged in a 'battle' that finds us completely ill-equipped to win; some situation or circumstance that is totally new to us. Sometimes we choose to venture into new territory, sometimes we are thrust into it. Either way, we must remember that every bit of strength or cleverness required resides within us already. It just needs to be summoned.
Maybe we can handle things brilliantly the first time around. But maybe not. The only thing that will truly defeat us is if we lose faith in ourselves. When fear and self-doubt start creeping in, we start to slide just as surely as if we were on a muddy mountainside. We grasp and panic and struggle...and lose hope and motivation. Our only defense is the simple realization that perfection is an illusion, it is tenacity and courage that win the day.
Today's action: Take a minute to think not of things you wish you'd done differently, or handled "better," but of 3 examples of times when you persevered and overcame whatever it was that needed fixing or managing. Try to ruminate over a few victories rather than defeats.
Give yourself a pat on the back, literally (yes, it can be done, I do it all the time), for things you've accomplished, be they seemingly tiny things that no one else might know, or great big public achievements. Savor those moments. And know that you are far more than the sum of your parts.
Susan Dowgiala